Sermon 06/15/08 (Matthew 10:24-39)

“What a Nice Father’s Day Message...”
Matthew 10:24-39
Rev. Désirée H. Gold
St. Mark’s United Church of Christ, Baltimore, MD
Sunday, 15 June, 2008
Eleventh Sunday in Ordinary Time
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 On the second Sundays of May and June people across America flock to family gatherings to celebrate the parents who raised them. Of course, not everyone joyously celebrates Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. For some, the holidays are painful reminders of abuse, neglect, infertility, loss. But the pulse of America says we should find the perfect greeting card (the Hallmark elves spend all year preparing them for us), then top it off with the perfect gift. The past few weeks we have been able to find very special deals on “the grill Dad always wanted,” or “the perfect set of golf clubs” or a big screen TV.

In addition to the advertisements that implore us to consume, consume, consume, there are actually some signs that many people really care about their fathers. Schoolchildren make art projects for their daddies, and adult children travel long distances to be with their families. Even those who want nothing to do with Father’s Day are bombarded by it everywhere. We are supposed to grow up loving our Daddies (and they are supposed to love us), and that love is supposed to continue into adulthood. It’s the white picket fence image of the American family. That’s just the way we do things in this country! We are good, Christian, American citizens, and by George, we will follow the commandment to honor our father and mother! ...Hmmm...except for the fact that our “good, Christian, American” celebration of Father’s Day just went out the window with this morning’s Gospel:

“...I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-
in-law...Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

Yep, it’s in the Bible, and yep, I read it on Father’s Day. And no, it would not work very well on a Hallmark card.

You should know me well enough by now to realize that I am a Daddy’s girl. I talk about my father a lot in sermons and went home to North Dakota recently to celebrate his birthday. You should also know me well enough by now to realize that I am a Christian. I read the scriptures and revere them as Holy Word. ...So, how do I reconcile these two things? How do I make sense of the fact that I adore my father, when the book that I revere is holy speaks about domestic strife as if it is a good thing?

The possible answers are tricky. Biblical scholar Fred Craddock explains that the author of Matthew’s gospel is using a particular style of writing in which “the result of an action is then stated as being the purpose of the action.”1 Craddock uses the example of the prophet Isaiah: “The result of Isaiah’s preaching was the hardening of hearts, and so Isaiah 6 says that Isaiah preached in order to harden hearts.”2 In the case of this morning’s Gospel reading, commitments made to Christ would often divide people from their families. Therefore, the writer says that the purpose of Christ’s call was to divide families. It is a contrary way of saying things, but knowing that the harshness of these words are due, in part, to a writing style, softens them a little. Maybe Christ doesn’t really want our families to fall apart; he just knows that Christian commitment might lead to division.

You have to remember that “Christianity” was extremely new when the Gospel of Matthew was written. It was not yet a separate religion; rather, there was a sub-set of Jews that worshiped Jesus of Nazareth as their Messiah. Being a Christ-follower was not a popular thing to be, and those who worshiped Christ -- whether they were Jews or Gentiles -- often did so at the risk of alienating their families. It would be like a teenager going off to join a cult: family members would have a difficult time understanding or supporting the one who left to join this weird, new religious movement.

You also must remember this: Jesus told those who he encountered to drop all they were doing in order to follow. People were not giving up an hour or two on a Sunday morning to go to church. They were giving up their entire lives. They were committing their very beings to Christian community and forsaking all other commitments, including their families. Yes, domestic strife tends to arise when we ignore our families for the sake of a new commitment. Yes, these people were committing themselves to God, but they were engaging in a new kind of worship that their family members likely did not understand. Matthew’s words are meant to strengthen the new Christian, so that he or she will come to see that this separation is painful but may be a necessary component of Christian commitment.

It is hard for us to see things this way through our eyes, which are so saturated with the long existence of Christianity. My dad and I are both part-time UCC ministers. We share that. It’s not like I ran away from home to become a Christian. I went to seminary with the blessing of both of my parents, and they fully support me as a minister. When Ben and I met he couldn’t quite believe he was dating a hospital chaplain, and the idea of Christian ministry is still a little weird to him, but he knew what he was getting into from the beginning. Neither my mom nor my sister attend church regularly, but they love and support my dad and me in our ministries.

It’s hard for us to see through the eyes of first century Christians, because we live in a culture that is accustomed to Christianity. Still, vestiges of Matthew’s first century warning remain, and are perhaps returning as Christianity loses prime real estate on the American landscape. Fewer people go to church than did several decades ago, so going to church is becoming a rebellious and strange thing to do once again. Children are expected to play sports games on Sunday mornings, and some coaches don’t take kindly to a child skipping a game because she is at church. I still remember when stores were required to be closed on Sundays. Now, as some of you unfortunately know, employees get in trouble when they insist on staying home so they can worship and rest on the Sabbath.

So, we have come full circle. In the very beginning, following Christ was extremely hard work. Then, for a few centuries, we sort of coasted along, and it was the non-Christians who would suffer. Now, 21st century American has become so secularized that followers of Christ are once again struggling to keep their commitments.

When Matthew writes about parents and children turning against each other, he is not telling me that I have to disown my parents in order to truly be a follower of Christ. What he is saying is that my Christian commitments must come before all else, including my immediate family. These are, indeed, hard words but they’re true.

As you gather with family this afternoon to celebrate Father’s Day, or as you feel angry, sad, or afraid on this day that will never be a “holiday” for you, I ask you to remember this. We are hopefully aware that there is not much sacredness in purchasing a big screen TV for our father, aside, perhaps from the love we pour out in order to get it. But even our less-expensive gestures, like a homemade card or special time together today, should pale in comparison to our love and commitment to God. These are hard words, for those of us who love our Daddies, and I confess that I really struggle to heed them. But, ultimately, our Parent in Heaven needs to come first. This means that we put off our Father’s Day celebrations in order to attend church, and if church lasts for three hours we stay for it. This means we pray to God before we spend hours making that special card. For those of you who are unable to celebrate Father’s Day because it is a reminder of abuse, infertility, grief, it means that you have the comfort of knowing that God comes first anyway.

Church is not going to last three hours today, and you will likely get out of here in time to have a Father’s Day brunch. But do not rush out the door right after the service. Linger a while, and continue worshiping God by celebrating fellowship with your neighbors. I hope that your Christian faith does not cause division within your family. But if it does, so be it. We are children of God before we are ever children of earthly parents, and we need to strive to keep God first. Make that commitment today.

Now let us pray.


1. Fred B. Craddock, John H. Hayes, Carl R. Holladay, and Gene M. Tucker, Preaching Through the Christian Year: Year A (Harrisburg: Trinity Press International, 1992), 337.
2. Ibid.